Looking after a newborn baby is a full-time job. It can take time to adjust. How you feel can change day by day.
You might go from being excited and happy to feeling worried. At times you might feel exhausted and doubt yourself.
It takes time to get to know your baby. It’s very common to have questions and concerns. You might worry about handling your new responsibilities, or how you will cope with tiredness.
Tips for new parents in the early days (video)
Preparing for parenthood during pregnancy
Your relationship with your partner
Your relationship with your partner will also change as you adjust to your new roles as parents.
This is an exciting time for you as a couple. But you might find that you have less time for each other.
You might also have disagreements with your partner on decisions about your baby. This is to be expected.
Try to:
- listen to and respect each other’s point of view
- compromise
- be flexible and let things go when you can
Take care of yourself
Learning how to be a parent is a big adjustment and takes time. Try and be kind to yourself, particularly in the early weeks and months after your baby is born.
It’s normal to sometimes feel overwhelmed. You might worry that you’re not doing a good job or that it’s hard to be with your baby all the time.
Pay attention to your own needs as well as your baby’s needs.
For example, try to:
- eat well
- get outside, even for a short walk
- rest when you can
- not worry too much about housework
- get help with practical tasks like shopping and laundry
- get time to relax - have a bath or read a book
- ask friends and family for help, if you need it
After the first few months, many families find that life starts to feel more settled. You’ll get into a routine and begin to feel more confident.
Attachment and bonding with your baby
Getting support
Remember it is always OK to ask for help if you feel overwhelmed or feel you are not doing a good job. These feelings are very common for parents. Sometimes it only takes a kind listener to make things feel OK again.
If you find it hard to be with your baby all the time, this does not mean you are a bad parent. It means that this new relationship between you and your baby needs support.
You also need support. It’s important that you ask for help.
Non-urgent advice: Talk to your PHN or GP if:
- you think you might have postnatal depression or anxiety
They can help you get support.
Specialist perinatal mental health services are available if you are experiencing mental health problems. The service is in all maternity units and hospitals.
How to cope with less sleep
All new parents struggle with sleep deprivation.
It’s normal for tiredness to make you feel:
- low
- irritable
- not yourself
- worried about being able to care for your baby
Young babies wake up very often. They do not tend to know the difference between day and night.
It can take babies several weeks or even months to sleep for long periods of time. This can feel exhausting. Remember, this is just a phase. Things will settle.
It may help to:
- try to sleep when your baby is sleeping
- leave household jobs for now - rest instead
- take turns with your partner for night-time feeds, if possible
- if you are breastfeeding, ask your partner to do the nappy change and settle the baby when the feed is finished
- try to be patient and calm around your baby - remind yourself that they’re not keeping you awake on purpose