Bonding with your baby starts in pregnancy. You will start making changes in your life and planning for their arrival.
First-time parents often think about what kind of parent they will be.
Couples often wonder about how they will maintain their relationship. They may worry about how their daily life will be affected.
Even if this is not your first baby, your family is growing and changing. Your parenting style needs to adjust to accommodate the new baby.
Thinking about your parenting style
In pregnancy it's normal to wonder about what you and your partner might be like as parents.
You might think about your own childhood and how your parents were. You might like to follow in their footsteps, or to be a different kind of parent.
By thinking about what kind of parent you want to be, you are starting to find your own parenting style.
As your baby grows, your parenting style will develop. You will build patterns and routines that work well for your baby and your family.
Exploring parenting during pregnancy
- What kind of parent would you like to be?
- What might make it hard to be this kind of parent?
- What might help you to be the parent you would like to be?
- Are there any challenges in your life that might make parenting difficult?
- What will your baby be like?
Imagining your baby
Imagining what your baby will be like is an important way to bond before birth. But remember that you are only imagining.
When your baby arrives, the reality may be different to what you imagined. Every baby is unique.
Attachment and bonding with your baby
Getting help and support
Some people experience negative thoughts or difficult feelings about their pregnancy or baby.
Thinking about the parent you want to be can bring up painful feelings about your own parents and your childhood. This can happen if your experience of being parented did not meet your needs.
If you are having negative feelings about your pregnancy or worried about the bond with your baby, talk to your GP, midwife or obstetrician.
You can ask for a referral to a perinatal or infant mental health service.